Happy Valentine’s Day Erryybaddy!

Cheesiest time of the year is here and I thought this is the perfect opportunity to do a fun, light hearted question & answer session as a couple.

The best part about this interview is that both of us will be writing our own answers without each other’s influence, so I think it might be slightly more exciting for us than you. LOL!

I was feeling a little odd doing this interview on my own but since, I get a lot of relationship related queries (some questions are actually taken from what most people want to know about us), I thought lezz do it!

Before we go on sharing our thoughts, let me tell you that we have known each other for 8 years now, been married for a little over 2 and this is our 4^th Valentines together! We don’t necessarily celebrate it each year, but we make sure to NOT let go of any occasion to celebrate love and have fun.

Okay, so without further blabber, let’s talk!

• What convinced you to marry each other?

Fatima – In all honesty, I didn’t agree at first because he was my best friend and I was too scared to lose this platonic bond for something that might not work later. I took my sweet time to weigh all the pros and cons but this guy won my heart through an email. It was so convincing and sooo well written! I wanted to marry someone who could accept me with all my emotional baggage and with whom I can have the most unfiltered and raw conversations. This guy ticked all the boxes.

Shahzeb – I was in a very difficult position in my life, thinking, overthinking, and contemplating my life decisions, when the light bulb suddenly turned on! What I wanted from life, was staring me right in the face all the time! I had to make a HUGE decision if I wanted to pursue happiness in my life with her and I’m glad I took this leap of faith with my gut. All these decisions took place in my head over the course of a dinner.

• How have you changed as a person in the last few years of living together?

Fatima – I think when you live with someone you have a certain influence on each other. As a person I have definitely become composed in terms of expressing my emotions; I have definitely become more fearless but one thing that has gone downhill is that I have become a foodie because of this guy, and I am not very happy about it!

Shahzeb – Well to be honest, Fatima has actually brought compassion in my life. She has forced out the expressive side in me that I never knew I had. Also, getting a personal chef free of charge has been extremely filling for my belly! 😀

• How do you keep your relationship exciting?

Fatima – Monotony really bothers me, so its very important for me to always have something going on (which isn’t very healthy). But one thing that I have realized over time is that in order to be invested in your relationship and really enjoy it, you really need to have a life outside of your marriage. So even though I don’t work, I make sure to keep myself busy around my work and social life and then to keep things exciting & fun, I plan things in our relationship like game nights, cooking together, walking around the city, reading in bed. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something grand but it needs to be engaging.

Shahzeb – Fatima has her tricks for this and I have mine. I generally try to find good TV Series or Movies we can watch together, activities that we can do and of course, I’m the Travel Guide when it comes to our vacations. I look up the places we should be visiting, things we should be doing once we’re there, restaurants that would be the highlight of our trips, you get the idea.

• What was your idea of commitment and relationship before getting married? Has it changed?

Fatima – Marriage really scared me all my life. I used to see unhappy couples, mostly women compromising and sacrificing and those relationships felt very job-like, very mundane! However, as I grew up watching a lot of Bollywood movies, my idea of marriage and the khayali pulao I used to make around it, was very different from what was happening around me.

After I got married, it wasn’t scary at all. Maybe because I married the guy I knew from before, or because I was very vocal about what I want or maybe I just got lucky (I think it’s an equal combination of all three).

So yeah, marriage is nothing like what I used to think and I am super glad about it.

Shahzeb – For me, life has always been moving from one milestone to the next. I had timelines I wanted to adhere to, specific things I wanted to get done by a certain age and whatnot. I’m glad to say that I’ve retained that organizational skill even after getting married to my oddball of a wife but I have certainly developed a healthy respect for the sacred union and partnership that I didn’t foresee earlier.

• How do you manage arguments and disagreements?

Fatima – WE TALK! And we talk A LOT! But ofcourse when we are in the middle of a fight or disagreement, talking right away doesn’t sound like the most reasonable option because anything can come out of our mouths when we are emotional and angry. So, we take our sweet time alone, and then when both of us are in the right state of mind where we can reason with each other, we talk and apologize.

‘Sorry’ & ‘Thank You’ are the two key phrases in our relationship apart from ‘Iloveyou’

Shahzeb – One thing that I discussed very early in our marriage with Fatima was that in our relationship there is no room for ego. With that line carved in stone, we don’t hesitate in admitting when we’re wrong to each other. So once things cool down, we discuss the situation and apologize for our mistakes ( because ‘Sorry kehne se koi bara chota nahi ho jata’ ).

• Favorite things to do together?

Fatima – My most favorite one is to talk to him in bed before dozing off. I feel it’s the best way to end the day. Apart from that, I love to read beside him, going grocery and window shopping also tops the list!
Shahzeb – Any thing and everything. One of the best qualities of Fatima is that she can make any situation crazy, weird, funny and instantly engaging. So no matter what we do, its always awesome whether its doing groceries or roaming around the mall.

• What’s something new that you discovered about each other after marriage?

Fatima – that he CAN get angry! I know its stupid but trust me, I had never seen him go angry or mad about something, so when I saw that side of his, I was actually quite surprised. LOL

And that he CAN be hopelessly romantic. Both of these traits don’t go well with his calm and introverted personality, or atleast that’s what I thought.

Shahzeb – That beautiful women fart too ☹ Biggest turn off in my life.

• One thing you LOVE, HATE & TOLERATE about each other?

Fatima – I love that he doesn’t shy away from accepting when he is wrong. Hate that he is ALWAYS on his phone. Tolerate his snores!

Shahzeb – Love her smile, hate when she takes everything to the heart, tolerate her taste in TV Shows ( I know she’s going to kill me for this, but the truth had to come out! )

• What’s something that you thought you’d hate, but actually didn’t mind doing after marriage.

Fatima – Oh God!  The list is endless. I never thought I can run a household so efficiently and infact will enjoy doing that.

Also, I had never watched any superhero movies but since I married a nerd, it was part of the package. And to my surprise, I actually fell in love with Iron Man, Captain America & Thor!

Shahzeb – Making the bed. I always hated that, but now it turns out that with the right incentives, I don’t really mind making the bed. Also, window shopping; never thought I’d enjoy doing that and actually hated doing it in Pakistan, but over here its quite fun with Fatima.

1. How do you think love & relationships have changed as compared to the previous times?

Fatima – The way I see it, I feel relationships and its dynamics have drastically changed in the last few years. Relationships today are all about equal partnership, communication, mutual trust and respect. And I think the reason behind this change is that women of today are independent, and more vocal and expressive of what they want. Today, I see couples having fun together, communicating with each other about their goals while also taking care of their responsibilities and adulting at life!

Shahzeb – I think that couples now are more expressive compared to the previous generations and therefore tend to enjoy everything to its fullest. They experience life together in true union and partnership which might not have been possible earlier.

That’s all folks! I hope you had a wonderful time reading our thoughts and got to know us a little better! If you liked it and want to know more about relationships, we can have another session like this on the blog soon. Don’t forget to share your feedback.

Thank you for hanging out with us this Valentine’s!